I’m tired and incandescent,
Only half here, barely present.
I savour the taste of chocolate on my tongue,
Trying to speed those connections
With the rush of sugar that cracks open
My heavy awareness. Consciousness
Thick with last night’s travels,
Misdeeds, and losses. Memories
Relived, and desired to be forgotten.
But their taste lingers, overpowering
Any efforts to erase. To phase out with
Candied and candid replacements,
The excuses that rise to the surface,
Whose buoyancy I hope will afford
Some lightness, and release me from
The shackles of too much sleep;
Or not enough. I can no longer tell which.
It doesn’t matter.
Though I know I will have to return,
To recover what’s lost, broken, shaken,
And mistaken for something
Current and valuable to me.
Mistaken for something real and unhealed.
I savour the sweetness now warming
My thoughts, my internal talk now mellowing
With the flow of the music in my head.
Away from my bed;
Awakening, becoming whole.
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