– Ideally to be read in a Scots accent – 

If the Shoe Fits – The Word-Wizard

Five fingers do you have; five toes to

Your feet. With one foot you may

Stand and rave. With one hand

You may greet.

A nose upon your withered face;

A brow as proud as day;

And eyes as narrow as a winter’s moon

Spying all your prey.

With heart rejoicing in mirth’s guilt

You speak your tone with gusto,

And twist the words that gutter forth

As wings of ravens must do.

But worry not my churlish cub

For none will judge you thusly;

Your tales unfold with wicked speed,

And turn the day inversely.

Upon their heads stand all who listen

And all who read your woeful creed,

With splitting side and gaping mouth

Their mirth escapes with torrid need!

You are a master of the pen,

My friend,

A smith of worthy note,

And homage do I pay to you,

If only just to gloat,

For though you weave your magic well,

You’re as ugly as a cheerless goat!

14 thoughts on “If the Shoe Fits – The Word-Wizard

  1. I tried reading it twice. Once in a Scottish accent and one the regular ya wee biscuit.

    I like all the bird metaphors.


          1. I have seen both of your blogs actually. Hence my admiration.

            I’m hoping you elaborate further 😉


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